Children should be proud of their accomplishments.

​Pride means finding joy and satisfaction in a job well done. Pride means feeling admiration for yourself and value in what you have achieved. Pride, authentic pride - not bragging, boasting or seeking outside approval - is an essential part of self-esteem.

Encourage your children to take pride in what they do and MODEL IT FOR THEM.
Take pride in your accomplishments! You have accomplished so very much, from learning to drive a car, to starting a family, to getting up each morning and taking care of what needs to be done. Be it big or small - take time to feel that joy and satisfaction.
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What are you proud of today?

Imagine if you were hiking on a lovely summer day, you are on a beautiful path going up a slight slope. What if you said to yourself, "wow, my legs are so tired this slope seems like it's getting steeper," and with that thought, there is a low rumble under the earth and a hill pushes up beneath your feet!

Well, now you are faced with a steeper hill, without a pause you think, "holy cow! This is turning into a mountain of a hill," and again a rumple and a shake , you are faced with a mountain. “Oh great!” you say, “every mountain path has a narrow trail, rocks and crevices, I can sure tell what I’m in for!” Sure enough, the path gets treacherous.
Thankfully, this does not happen when hiking and when we embark on a trek, we have the proper gear. Our hiking experience helps us choose safe passage, and if we are going to take a road less traveled we have google maps, or friends that will help us find our way...

This is not the case when navigating some of the “molehills” that we come across in our lives, if we do not use logical thought an automatic, negative re-frame may happen and a much more treacherous mental story is created. This can transforms that molehill into a much more difficult to navigate, mountain.

Remember, you have your gear, your past experiences can guide you and if it’s uncharted territory you do have resources and people to turn to.
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Keep the molehills small and enjoy the hike!
-B

Our hats are off to Dr. Harvey Karp! On page 59 of a wonderful book called “The Happiest Toddler on the Block,” Dr. Karp shares a table of “Labels that Hurt – Descriptions that Help,” which depicts the very fundamentals of re-framing. How we can build our children’s self-esteem, just by being aware of the language we are using and what words actually inspire.

He points out that when a child appears to be bossy, they may be destined to leadership. He promotes the idea that most words we use which have negative connotations such as “hyper” can be easily replaced with their positive counter parts such as “energetic or passionate”. A very negative “nosy” is quite an endearing “curious”.

His list continues but instead of posting it here, I challenge you to add a comment of your favourite one word re-frames.

See the comment below to get you started!

-B

Rosy Re-Frame: It’s all in the getting there.

The things we learned from Puppets, who knew? I can recall a stuffed green frog, peddling a bicycle, singing “Moving Right Along, do do do, do do do” and although I don’t remember all of the lyrics, I can remember the “getting there is half the fun” part.

It is kind of funny that in an existence that is essentially made up of a series of journeys, we always seem to be in a hurry to get to the next thing (whatever that may be). We know how important it is to be mindful, be present. You don’t have to stall out your day to be present in a moment, you simply need to take note of the smaller bits –

there were probably 30 or more moths on my front door this morning. Which was kind of cool, as they were sitting, not flapping their furry little selves around my face, the sunrise was gorgeous and so were the two deer I allowed my-self to take note of on the way to work. Curious how the day didn’t change, I still made it to work on time, and went about things the same way I would had I not stopped to count the moths, or notice the deer.

When we are cooped up, travelling along by plane or bus or car, we can fuss and fume and be impatient for the goal, or we can enjoy the scenery, catch up on sleep, reading, laugh and talk, isn’t that valuable time?

Maybe the destination is not what is intended to be the reward, perhaps it is the richness along the way, the fall colours, the smile of a friend or stranger, the time spent with family in a vehicle.

If we think about the ultimate journey that we are all on, it is not the destination we crave, it’s really each moment along the way.

-B


Photo credit @jdmytruk

​From the time you are born, you grow and change. You are not the same person you were yesterday or the day before. Sometimes change happens naturally and sometimes you are striving to change for health or well-being, or to better your situation. 
When you falter or you don't make progress as quickly as you think you should (instantly and flawlessly) the abuse begins - the internal brow beating that you are so good at giving yourself. Magnifying your "failure" and denying any sense of accomplishment at all. 
Imagine if instead of talking yourself into giving up hope, you could have the same dialogue internally that you would have in supporting your best friend? Kind and considerate words of encouragement. Cheering yourself on as you navigate the journey that is life. Loving. Supporting. Encouraging. Imagine self-talk that lifts you up, carries you forward, and adds fuel to your fire.

-RWP