The way we speak to ourselves can change not only our outlook on life, but our mental state all together. Our subconscious establishes a belief by repetition and once the seed of an idea has been planted it (our subconscious) actively seeks examples to confirm and reinforce that belief. With that, negative self-talk can begin as simply as having one off day.
Imagine waking up in the morning and as you walk to the bathroom, you stub your toe. As you mutter a bad word under your breath, you think to yourself, “ouch. That was stupid.”
You continue with your morning, you have a big presentation at work today and you are excited. You’ve been researching and preparing for weeks and you know your idea is amazing. You get ready to go, you dress for success and feel prepared for the day. You hop in your car and as you glance at the time, notice you have a couple extra minutes to swing into the coffee shop and grab a coffee on your way. You park and run in, with your presentation on your mind, you walk to the counter and as you begin to give the barista your order, the guy in the lineup behind you, whom you have just cut in front of, mutters a few choice words under his breath and calls you stupid. Embarrassed, you apologize, grab your coffee and head to the counter to add cream and sugar, snap on a lid and leave.
Back in the car, you take a sip from your coffee and too late realize that the lid is not on correctly. You spill coffee down the front of your shirt, look at the mess and say, “Ugh. That was stupid.”
You get to work, clean yourself up, pump yourself up and nail the presentation. You’re feeling awesome as you drive home that final important point and when you scan the room, your gaze lands on the face of your manager. A face that is currently looking at you like you have two heads. A face that obviously thinks you, or your idea, or both, are stupid.
So there you go, in one day you’re subconscious has been told 4 times that you are stupid. Twice by you, who is, lets face it, the leading authority on ‘you’. Once by a complete stranger and once by a person in a position of authority.
But lets re-cap:
And there you have it, a belief has been suggested, confirmed and reinforced by your subconscious. A belief that is not only untrue, but negative and potentially destructive as well. Our subconscious is an amazing goal seeker and once it has established a belief, it will then seek out to re-affirm that belief. In the case of this story, that means pointing out to your conscious every time you do something to prove that you are “stupid”.
This is why we use relaxation modalities such as guided imagery, meditation or hypnotherapy. When we relax the body, the mind slows and the theory is that when our brainwaves slow, our subconscious becomes open to suggestion. That is when we can bypass the critical thinking consciousness and give the positive suggestions to our subconscious that will change or replace the negative self-talk.
Two things have happened in the last couple month that without another thought, I would have let them slide by, unconnected and independent of each other. The first was a room full of educators that listened respectfully and intently as I spoke of my recent work. The next was a couple of weeks later as I did some housework with my hair up and in my sweats, kicked on a podcast to “keep me company” as I did my chores.
The podcast – The Influencer – had a business coach as a guest and as they explored her story of how she had come to do this line of work and eventually what she offered clients, nothing grabbed my attention until she explained that she began with drilling down into the “why did you start your company?” Yes to be self-employed. Yes to have flexible hours. But why this business.
That’s when I began to think of all those people who begin a business, a career, a mission. To move toward a “life’s work” instead of having just a job or career. To choose what they do because they want to make a difference. Drilling down to the big WHY THIS, to the simplest core. So once I answered that question for myself – I wanted to give to children tools for life, so they don’t need to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms, so they have solid self-esteem, and can manage what life throws at them. And so, you might ask, what does that have to do with a room full of teachers? There they are, by choice, sometimes overworked, underappreciated and, let's face it, not the career if your aspire to drive a Lamborghini.
Sometimes life just takes us and leads us to a job, career, situation and it’s good, we do our best and are grateful , we may even find our calling or just really enjoy what we do.
But tell me if you have choose what you do or if you could choose, what would it be and why?
Rosy Window Staff