Kid Quotes to Make You Smile

If you’re anything like me, social media is wearing a little thin on you right now. It’s a tricky thing. You want to check-in, stay updated on what is going on, and stay connected in this time where many of us are practicing social isolation. But, oh man, so much sad, and frustrating news! Listening to people argue, trying to sort out fact from fiction. Wondering if your doing enough, not enough, or too much to keep your loved ones safe; to be a responsible human.

I thought it was time for a diversion. Let some tension go and let a little sunshine seep in… and maybe a little laughter too.

I had a friend comment once on how the term ‘laugh out loud’ really annoyed her. With texting and social media, "lol" gets used a lot, and what bugged her, she told me, was how she knew people were typing it, but not actually doing it. Maybe smile, or a snort, but that was probably it. People aren't literally "laughing out loud". Her comment did make me LOL, but it also got me thinking about those things that truly catch me off guard, and make me laugh.

​Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good meme, but it's some of the things kids say that make me actually giggle. I love reading funny tweets from parents, or getting a text from a friend or relative sharing some of hilariousness that comes out when little people speak their mind. 

So that's all this is, a silly, happy little post to take your mind off of life for a moment, and to share a few of the funny things said by some of the kids in my world. And if it doesn’t make you LOL, I hope it at least brings out a smile or a snort.

​Thanks to the friends and family who allowed me to share these. 

Mini Musings
“I wish I was a dog so I could eat all the day and wear no clothes."
- Disappointed  4 year old, on the long hours between snack-times.

“Oh! Alligator poop!” 
- Surprised 2 year old, on dill pickles.

“My head says it wants a tea party and my belly says, it wants a snack with the tea party”
- Introspective 3 ½ year old, on important decisions.
​
“I’m just like Cinderella, I have to do eevvveeerrrything!”
​- Distressed 4 year old, on being overworked and underappreciated.

“I just wiggle my bones, then wiggle my brains, and then my ears.” 
- Knowledgeable 5 year old, on how to wiggle one's ears.

“Today, we should try weedwacking with no pants on!”
​- Cheerful 3 year old, on potential family activities. 
​

From the Kidtionary
Artist  \ˈärdəst\
​Someone who is, really, really good at something. (aka expert)
Contributor: 6 year old

Candyween  \ˈkan-dē-ˈwēn\ 
Where you go to houses and get food, but not bread or sandwiches… ​candy food.
Contributor: 3 year old

Crockagator \ˈkräkə ˌɡādər\
Any large reptile with teeth.
Contributor: 2 year old
​

Questions & Comments
“It’s dark out! was I in the toilet too long?”
- 4 year old, too wrapped up in an intense game of go-fish to notice the passing of time, until stopping for a potty break. 

“Was that when you were little, Dad?”
- 8 year old, learning a parable of Jesus 

From the Tub:
“Look Mom! I’m washing my own person!”
                                                       -2 year old

“Dad? Do Dinosaurs have penises?”             
                                                       - 3 year old

​“Is poop stored in my bum cheeks?”
                                                        - 3 year old

More on that:
“I was holding my poop in my belly so you could read me a book. Good thing I have butt cheeks!”
                                                         - 4 year old
​

These Things Happen
“I accidentally put my new underwear over my old underwear”
- Dejected 8 year old getting ready the day

“Mom! Mom! There’s something wrong with my face! There’s a hole in it! I was looking at myself in the mirror and it only happens when I do this: *smiles* See!?”
- Panicked 7 year old with dimples

“My knee elbowed me in the head.”
- Injured 8 year old

“I was dreaming about at bath, and now my pants are off.”
​- Sad & pantsless 3 year old at 4 a.m. 

Cover Bands
“Dir-ty cheese, UN. DER. NEATH!”
                                     - 4 year old's, Dirty Deeds by AC/DC

“Cuz I’m a lunch. box. handle…”
                                     - 3 year old's, Jukebox Hero by Foreigner 
​
“Kataaaawa, Kataaaawa!”                       
                                      -12 year old's, Devour by Shinedown

“Someone once told me, the world was macaroni. I ate the sharpest tool in the shed”
                                      - 8 year old's & 10 year old's duet,  All Star by Smash Mouth

Important Conversations 
Dad:  Get back up here and eat your dinner.
3 year old from under table:  Chicken in sauce just isn’t really my thing. 

4 year old brother: I am going to be a police when I grow up.
2 year old sister: I’m be a bad guy. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

Grandma: It's Superman!
3 year old in superman costume: No, it's me! See my head poking out!?

Sisters getting lost while driving in the city: 
Grandma, from backseat: Great, the pilot is lost and the navigator doesn't know where shes going.
Wide-eyed nephew, from the backseat: Which one is the pirate and which one is the alligator?

10 year old: What type of leaves are these?
Mom: Its still spinach, just like the last time we ate it.
10 Year old: I know that, but what kind of plant is it from?

Last, But Not Least
Kindergartner’s yearbook sign: When I grow up I want to be…… a normal guy.       



Hope these little gems brought happiness to your day, and please don't hold out on us if you have some of your own to share! Add your funny kid quotes, 'definitions' and cover songs to the comments below (or at least text them to your mom. She appreciates it. 😊)

Cheers!
-M